Q. I am an 82-year-old widow who loves living in Florida. My daughter and her husband want me to move back North and live with them in their home and I don’t want to but don’t know how to refuse them. Can you help?
A. Hmmm. What’s wrong with just saying, “Nope, “I’m not coming?” If that one doesn’t work, try telling them that you are fine where you are and they should quit trying to run your life for you, since you feel capable of taking on that task by yourself. As we get older, our children sometimes seem to want to control our lives and if it’s appropriate for our particular circumstances, we should try to prevent that. Better for us. Better for them. But here’s the thing: YOU have to be the one to say it. YOU need to be assertive and let your children know what you intend on doing. Of course, they are probably just trying to take care of you so it’s best to thank them kindly and courteously and with love and affection……………………………… before you tell them to buzz off.